Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Or as the American's would say, Happy holidays!

Swanky Frank's

I was first drawn to Swanky Franks by the name. It was something ineffably American, which tickled my English sensibilities. The animate hotdog mascot sporting converse and a chef hat was icing on the cake. To me, this was Americana at its best.

Swanky Franks is anything but swanky. It’s a small, hole-in-the-wall, dive by the side of a busy high way. The serving area itself comprises of little more than a counter overlooking the grill, the atmosphere being more shabby kitchen than American diner.

None of this bothers me. Swanky Franks is so uncool that it’s cool. It’s so earnest, so sincere, that you can’t help but fall in love with it.  The people who work there are genuine friendly people. The moment you walk in, you’re greeted by a “hi there hun, sit anywhere you like”. The whole place has a family atmosphere and it is more than common to have one big conversation for the entire shop rather than just between you and your party.

The food is American food plain and simple. The menu consists of the typical milkshakes, burgers and hotdogs that you would expect at any place. Food is served on paper plates, and slide in front of you, to devour. However, they are done to such a level of quality, and the people are so friendly, that you can’t help but fall in love with it. .

Perhaps the best thing is that its cheap. Really cheap. Living in London, we naturally grow accustomed to tasty things being expensive; be it a trip to the cinema, or a lovely pint. But this food is delicious and cheap, which means you can eat as much of it as your belt buckle will allow without having to worry about your wallet

American food is about no fuss satisfaction. There is no food snobbery, no messing around with micro garnishes. It’s just what you want when you want it, slathered in orange cheese. I know that most people will never get to try this place unless you live in the tri-state area. But if you’re ever passing through, take my advice and try one of my favorite burger joints.

Check it out @  http://swankyfranksct.com/

Christmas in America

It's Christmas in America, which means some of the most delectable food in the world is about to be consumed. In honor of this, I’ve decided to chronicle my favorite American food institutions. Some are known, some are unknown, but all are delicious.

Meat Liquor Reviewed

I have a special place in my heart for American food. A space that I intend to clog with the chlorestoral goodness of Meat Liquor. American food is about excess. America takes something that is already high in fat, like a Twinkie, deep-fries it into oblivion, and then adds cheese and sour cream. Why? Because they can. Americans know, perhaps better than any other nationality, that fat is flavour. And their food has plenty of flavour.

So what am I looking from an American meal? I want amazing food that makes me feel bad about myself afterwards. I want food so ridiculously over the top that I feel slightly embarrassed about ordering it. And I want so much food, that when I’m finished, there is still a whole mountain of food staring back at me. And afterwards, I’ll be so embarrassed that I will actually pretend to have a dog to justify asking for a doggy bag.

Meat Liquor’s concept appears to be an attempt to get away from the pretension of other restaurants and bars, serving amazing food and drink for a reasonable price (£10-20 per person) to anyone who walks through the doorway. The menu is equally laconic in both word and design with descriptions of food being down right Spartan.  The menu is small if you take into consideration that most of the main meals are a variation on the burger. Food is simply served on metal trays, delivered to the hungry customer.

Whether I would like this place always depended on one thing. And that was the burger. I can forgive waiting in line, poor service, loud music and bad lighting for a good burger. And I am pleased to say the Meat Liquor does not fail. After my first bite I was forced to quote Samuel L Jackson in Pulp fiction. “Mmm this is a tasty burger.” They miraculously managed to balance keeping the burger juicy while getting the perfect sear on the meat, which was all balanced by lovely cheese and lettuce. This is quite frankly the best burger that I have had in London yet.

However, the food at Meat Liqueur takes a back seat when compared to the drinks menu. This is not a restaurant to order wine in. What they do have is some very tasty and strange cocktails served in jam jars, using ingredients that we don’t normally see in English restaurants, like maple syrup. Trust me, it works. My personal favourite however is not one of their cocktails: it is the House Grog. The House Grog is a mixture of light rum, dark rum and over proof rum combined with a secret recipe. All I could tell you is that there was citrus. And rum. Lots of rum. Being a reasonably sized lad and having a London student’s constitution when it comes to drinking, this deceptively innocuous drink hit me hard. The menu limits the diner to two per person. And I can see why. You can’t taste the alcohol, but you can feel the alcohol. And they have the upside of being delicious

One of my favorite things about this place is the atmosphere. Put simply Meat Liqueur is dark. I mean this both figuratively and literally. Even during the daytime the restaurant’s circular windows are tinted to give it that dive bar feel. In my book this is not a bad thing for this type of food. Nothing is less appealing than seeing someone scoff down wings dripping with buffalo sauce in the cold light of day. You want a dark room, preferably a closet. And, at night, the lighting is more akin to a bar than a restaurant, with the reddish glow of the neon signs primarily lighting up our food. It even smells like an American burger and beer joint!

Located on Welbeck Street (W1G 0BA), which is the next street over from Oxford Street, you would expect this place to be full of tourists. Fortunately, this is not true, with the place sticking to the dive bar, London-locals-only feel. That being said, it is hardly off the radar with every foodie, blogger and humble LSE food reviewer talking about this place.

Everywhere, there is vaguely punk rock art, with a variety of different animal heads on the ceiling’s dome. The clientele are a strange mix of young businessmen men in their post work suits and artistic indie gallery types swanning about. The music blasting from the speaker (and I mean blasting) was 70’s rock and roll. Matching this, is the slightly frantic air as the under-staffed waitressing staff rush around the dining area with trays of food and drink, giving the sunken main dining area a mosh pit like feel.  But that is not to say that this restaurant is uninviting. While you cannot say it is relaxed, the place makes you feel like you can do whatever you want, be it dressed as a skeleton or drunk out of your skull. And you can do this, as Meat Liquor doesn’t take reservations and it is open late, making it my new destination for late night food.

I loved Meat Liquor’s food and hipster punk style and atmosphere.  But its’ greatest strength is also its’ greatest weakness… The dark room and red lighting meant that I could barely see the colour of my food. Just a vague outline where I stuck my face. The music, too was loud. Good for bars but bad for relaxed dinner conversation. This place is busy, meaning that you probably won’t get your food quickly, or even get the attention of the waitress. Worse still, this place is so busy that their popular menu items may run out as they did when I was there. My biggest disappointment with Meat Liqueur was that it wasn’t American. I was not presented with the Flintstone sized burgers of my youth. What I got was the English take on American food, which doesn’t sacrifice on flavour, just on size. All these things don’t matter when you consider what this place really is: A ridiculously cool place that opens late and does an amazing burger and cocktail.

I loved this place. While I think it has its faults, if you view it as a restaurant, I think it is perfect for the late night munchies. If you finish your massive paper at 11pm and feel like celebrating, go there. You need a place that does great late night food after a night on the town, go there. Fortunately for us, on Friday and Saturday this place doesn’t close until 2am: The ideal time to go and get some food. This place is the place that you should think of for late night comfort food and drinks. The pub has closed… You’re still thirsty and a little hungry. This is the place for you.

Beginner’s Wine Guide (15/11/11)

When I was younger, I went to a French restaurant with a cohort of friends. We were all pretending to be much older than we were, actually believing that the waiters mistook us for a bunch of 20 something artists out for a night on the town. Then came the dreaded moment. The waiter handed us the wine list. We huddled together, each producing a factoid that we had gleaned from the “grown-ups,” thinking that we were sounding like French vino connoisseurs. We were young boys, wearing our fathers’ ill-fitting suits; looking absolutely ridiculous.

I may have gotten older, but my fear of the sommelier persist. I mean I want him to like me, right? I like to think that all people, to lesser or greater extent, feel the same fear and loathing that I do when faced with a decision about what to drink. Now you might not be a wine person, and that’s fine – wine culture in many ways comes across as horribly snooty, elitist and pretentious. But what are you going to do when those bastard sommeliers sneak up behind you and catch you unaware? Wine etiquette, even if you don’t like wine, can be useful. From boss to potential partner, wine jargon, like all jargon, is used to separate the insider from the outsider. And it is always better to be inside. If you enjoy wine, then there is all the more pleasure to be had.

I am not a wine snob. I am not one of those people who, when poured a class of wine, swirls it in their glass, compares the colour against a white background, takes a small slurpy slip, and then juggles the wine about my mouth for a minute. I am someone who enjoys wine and wants to know how I can get the stuff I like for a price I love.

 Assuming that you know nothing about wine, let’s start from the beginning. Red or white? The traditional rule is red with meat, white with fish. And this is a rule of thumb. However, it is perfectly acceptable to order a red wine with a meaty fish like tuna or salmon, especially if the meal contains strong flavours. The important thing to remember is that although colour is an indicator of certain qualities of a wine, it is not the final judge of taste. The better rule of thumb is strong flavours with red, more subtle flavours with white. The actual differences come mainly from the type of grape, or whether the skins are left on or off.

The next step in deciding what wine you would like to drink is grape variety. Despite common conceptions, there is no such thing as a Pinot noir.  What does exist is what is known as the cépage, which refers to vines, which are very similar to the grape variety in question. For white wine all you need to remember is the big eight, consisting of Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, Gewürztraminer, Pinot Grigio, Sémillon, Viognier and Chenin blanc. Important names to remember for red wines are Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot noir, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Syrah, Shiraz, Sangiovese, Malbec and Granche. Each of these grapes has unique flavours and colours that affect the wine.  Once you know the names, all you need to do is try a little from each type, and decide which mixes you like the best

The next variable is the origin of the wine. Anyone who has ever looked at a French wine list knows that they do not list their wines by grape variety but by region. For example, in my personal favourite region Bordeaux, reds are made from a combination of Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc and Merlot grape varieties. Simply by knowing what grape varieties you enjoy, you can make a much more informed decision on what to buy.

So why do restaurants group wine in terms of variety instead of by grape variety? The answer is that climate affects how the wine will taste just as much as the grape type. The more sun a vine receives, the more time the plant will have to photosynthesise, which creates sugars that affect ‘alcohol content, sweetness and colour.

After you take all these factors into the equation, wine becomes like mathematics. And we all know how much you like mathematics. Grape variety plus sun exposure and other regional variations plus age equals what your wine should taste like.

Another thing you need to know is the tannin content of your wine. Tannins are simply a chemical compound found in wine. A light bodied wine will have fewer types of tannin than a full-bodied wine, which will have more tannin. During the aging process tannin becomes “softened,” meaning that wine with a higher tannin count like a claret will become better with age, while wines with a lower tannin count come to maturity at an earlier age.

So why do people say that wine tastes like smoky pears on a lazy afternoon with a woman named Matilda? The reason is that during the fermentation process, the newly formed alcohol reacts with the air, forming “esters” which remind us of things like fruit, because they naturally occur in it. So that person drinking grape juice and tasting apple isn’t crazy, he is just pretentious.

In terms of cooking, there is a very simple rule. Never cook with wine you wouldn’t drink. Cooking wine has high salt levels and acidity, which makes food disgusting. Good red cooking wines are Mourvedre, Grenache and Shiraz. All three are easy to cook, guaranteeing that you get the most out of your alcohol.

A word against cheap wine: it is your right and privilege to drink whatever you want. Drink cheap wine. I had a friend who enjoyed wine from £2.50. Granted she had to cut it with lemonade, but like all questions of aesthetics, it comes down to personal choice. Drink what you enjoy and to hell with everyone else! That being said, by ignoring the world of wine you are missing one of the fundamental joys of drinking.

Fortunately for us, you no longer have to go to some scary wine specialist to get good wine. These days any supermarket has a good wine selection, for descent prices, and all it requires for you to do is look past those 2 for £2.50 bottles of paint solvent to find them. I recommend a reasonably priced Côtes du Rhône or Bordeaux, as they have a heavy-bodied complex flavour, making it a perfect accompaniment for autumn dishes.

Enjoying wine, like enjoying food, is a learning process. It involves actively trying new things and deciding what you really like. However, after reading this article, hopefully the next time that snooty sommelier comes over and asks whether you would like a bottle of Pollo in a sippy cup, you will be able to use new wine knowledge and make an informed decision.